"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
