the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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