I think i sorta joined a cult last night
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
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