using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
