Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
