Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize