if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Randomize
