And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
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