I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
