so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
