Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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