Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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