We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
