**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
