They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
