why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
