That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
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