And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
