woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
