they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
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