Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Randomize
