You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I just found a bag of teeth...
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
I'm always down for nudity.
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