she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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