Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
