yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
Randomize
