I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
