I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
