are you so shy because you have an std?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
