Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Randomize
