all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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