**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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