yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
