dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
