Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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