everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
