Those balls look pretty dangerous.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
