I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
