Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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