Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
