adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
