Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
