Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
