just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
