do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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