Me. At least after what I've been through.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Randomize
