ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize