Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
