I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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