is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Randomize
