just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
