Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
