If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
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