She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
