i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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