it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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