apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
