This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Im part way to drunk.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I party with great urgency now.
Randomize
