Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
